It’s not that she won that bothered me. It’s that she won on her first shot, firing blindly, yet putting it dead-centre for a bulls-eye. She had to be talked into it by her grandfather, coached by her father, reminded by her co-worker, and now back to the father again to manage the mess she’s made.
Winning Lotto 649 can really throw a wrench into things, right?
Juliette Lamour, freshly turned eighteen, won $48 million dollars last week playing the lottery for the very first time in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.
I’ve been playing various lotteries for years, and the best I’ve ever done was a $10 win a couple of years ago, good enough for a ticket on the next draw and a kick in the pants. No Juliette Lamour endings for me.
I’ve pre-selected my six golden numbers for every draw, tweeking the combinations over the years to get into that sweet spot where six ping pong balls fall my way.
I wear special lucky clothes the day I make a purchase, and I have other lucky clothes to check my numbers the next day. I have even, at times, joined with other millionaires-in-waiting and purchased tickets through work, but to no profit.
I have the lottery app on my phone. I even have it all set up to purchase tickets automatically for me for every draw, which reduces the need for lucky clothing.
And yet I never hear that unmistakeable “WINNER/GAGNON tune, despite everything. I have a buddy who works for Hydro. His phone kicks out the WINNER/GAGNON song every time Hydro calls him in on overtime. Aside from that, I’ve got nothing.
And then there’s Juliette.
She turns 18 and wants to feel all grown up. Grandfather suggests she buy a lottery ticket, but she’s not sure which one. Dad says go for a Lotto 649 Quick Pick. So she does. Life goes on as normal, for a little while anyways. She actually forgets that she bought a ticket.
Rookie.
The day after the draw, a co-worker of Juliette asks if she’s checked her ticket. “Ticket? What ticket?” responds Juliette, which would be cute if the stakes weren’t so high. The co-worker tells her that it’s been determined the winning 649 ticket, a big one, was purchased right there in The Soo. Juliette fishes out her ticket and the co-worker fires up his OLG app to check it out.
I wonder, do you get the regular WINNER/GAGNON tune when you win $48 million, or do they have something more exciting for the really big winners? Is there a special feature on the app that fires out streamers and confetti as well?
Anyways, it’s discovered that Juliette, at the tender age of eighteen (just barely) has become Ontario’s latest millionaire. She cried. The co-worker cried. I cried. Everybody cried.
They had to phone her parents to come pick her up at work because she couldn’t stop crying. She wanted to stay and finish her shift but I guess it’s uncomfortable for customers to deal with crying staff.
Turns out her dad is a financial advisor. I’d call this serendipity if it wasn’t so cruel to the rest of us.
Juliette is a member of the Garden River First Nation. She’s off to university in the fall intent on returning home as a doctor. Her tuition was fully paid for through her aboriginal status, but she’s decided to politely decline those funds, her thought being that they would be better spent giving another indigenous person an opportunity to go to school.
If my $48 million had to go to someone, then I’m okay that it went to Juliette. I’ll win on Saturday instead. I might have to revise my plans somewhat if I win less than $48 million, but I’ll manage.
If my phone ever sings that happy song someday, I’ll be crying happy tears just like Juliette.
But you won’t have to come and get me from work.
NEWSMAGRENFREW 