Vladimir the Great.
You have to admit, it’s got kind of a punch to it. If I was a Vladimir, I could go for that title all day long.
Seems this Putin fellow, all five foot nothing of him, wishes to be the latest Russian historical figure. Wants to be on the same level as the big boys, like Lenin, Stalin, Peter the Great. Wants to be known as a great hero of the Russian people.
He recently pointed out that the last Russian ruler to totally control the Sea of Azov was Peter the Great. That’s really cool, other than he had to invade Ukraine to make it happen. But no matter. So did Peter the Great.
Vladimir Putin suffers from egomania in the extreme, and when he’s not wrestling alligators or riding bears shirtless, he pictures himself as the saviour of modern Russia. Which sounds well and good and everything, except for the fact that he’s not.
Called clever, calculating, the master chess player, Vladdy is instead an insecure Russian traditionalist, the type that equates Russia’s destiny with his own. In short, Russia cannot succeed without him. And with him, Russia must be on top. Anything less is treason in his eyes.
When talking about the notion of Russian use of nuclear weapons, he reiterated that Russia would only use nukes if its integrity as a state and as a people were threatened. How that would be defined, and by whom, was not discussed. He did, though, say that the existence of a sovereign Russia is critical to the survival of the world. In his words, the Russian president said “What’s the point in having a world if there is no Russia?”
That’s a hell of a point.
Somebody should point out to the GROAT (Greatest Russian Of All Time) that nobody over here wishes to see the removal of Russia from the map. Good God, where would we buy out Ladas from?
We don’t want to see Russia gone. But I’ll bet if we took a poll over here in the decadent and evil west, we’d find that it was you, sir, that we wish would go away.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.
Where’s a goddamned banana peel when you need one?
Are there no stairs you can fall down? You’ve been working hard. Is there no way you can fall asleep face-down in the bath?
Maybe retire and write a book. In Russian, of course.
NEWSMAGRENFREW 