Constipation is a real bitch, but thankfully there’s Metamucil. And Donald Trump is no different from the rest of us, other than the fact that he may need the warehouse pack version of the product to find relief from his most recent painful blockage. That’s because Arizona’s Kari Lake is burrowed so deeply up The Donald’s ass that some form of interventionist surgery might be needed to extract her.
Lake, you may recall, ran for governor of Arizona in the last mid-term elections parroting and embellishing each and every one of Trump’s ridiculous talking points. Like Trump, she lost, in her case to Democrat Katie Hobbs. Also like Trump, she cried foul, claiming the election was stolen from her through Democrat chicanery. This in a state where right-wing lunatics armed with automatic weapons would set up shop in lawn chairs within sight of polling stations just to, you know, assert their precious Second Amendment rights. Nothing says picnic better than sandwiches, salads, cold drinks, and AR-15 assault rifles. Yet it’s Kari who got shafted by those diabolical Democrats. Go figure.
Kari took her case to court to seek redress, just like her hero Trump. And just like her hero Trump, she lost every single case. I’m surprised nobody on the right hasn’t screamed “FAKE COURTS” since the right is often the source for all these clever little words and phrases that obfuscate and confuse, a tried and true Trump Republican tactic.
Anyways, she lost, and in a sane world, that would be enough of it, at least until the next election. But no, Kari’s not done. Kari’s a fighter. And she’s got God on her side, although we’ve yet to see a direct endorsement of Lake from the Almighty.
Kari Lake wants to be Donald Trump’s running mate in 2024, assuming that Trump somehow manages to be on the presidential ticket notwithstanding the 37 criminal indictments currently levied on the former president. To be honest, if I were the Democrats, that would sound like a dream scenario to me, having an unhinged vice-presidential candidate to point to when making their own case to voters. But that would be almost too good to be true, with Trump probably choosing someone less repugnant, like Marjorie Taylor Green, to be his running mate. Where in the hell is Sarah Palin when you need her?
Anyways, Lake was weighing in recently on the legal troubles of her idol Trump as he was summoned by the court to appear before them and receive the 37 counts of criminal indictments directed his way. Kari was having none of it.
“If they (the authorities) want to get to Donald Trump, they’re going to have to come through me, and 75 million people just like me,” thundered Lake. And just to add a little colour to that statement she continued with a finishing touch, the ribbon on top of the box.
“And most of us (meaning her and her 75 million friends) are card-carrying members of the NRA”
Things that make you go hmmm.
Was this a direct threat of the use of violence to prevent Trump from being prosecuted? Is she saying the guys in the lawn chairs, along with countless millions of other stupids are going to hit the gun cabinets and take to the streets in rebellion? Of course that’s silly. Those guys won’t need to go to their gun cabinets, since they’re already walking around with their weapons in plain sight.
Is she seriously advocating for insurrection? What was the point of the NRA reference otherwise? To me, insurrection is the only sensible contextual meaning of her statement. It’s not like she said “And most of us are card-carrying members of Costco.” That wouldn’t fit the context correctly.
So, to me, the statement is either seditious or recklessly negligent.
Im absolutely flabbergasted that a country like the United States would allow itself to get twisted up into knots of futility when it comes to people who present what I feel to be a “clear and present danger.” But I shouldn’t get all smug as a Canadian, since we’ve got the same kind of wing-nuts here. They used to be bottled up in Alberta, but somebody left the goddamned gate open and a bunch of them got free. And now look at us. Full of hate, full of grievance. Kari Lakes everywhere.
Sigh.
As pointless as this will be to say, I’m going to say it anyway. Kari Lake must be held accountable for these words or she should explain herself better. And if she doubles down and states clearly that insurrection against lawful authority is her direct message, then she needs to be arrested for sedition. Full stop.
Kari’s right about one thing. Trump does love this kind of grandstanding on his behalf. But make no mistake. When he’s done with you, Kari, when you no longer serve any useful purpose, you’re going to get shit on just like all the rest of them were, family included.
You’ll become what you deserve to become, just another polluted lake.
NEWSMAGRENFREW 