I sometimes can’t wrap my head around how breathtakingly stupid the Russians are. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m more than thankful for it, but still, how can a nation that produces so much of the world’s best when it comes to the arts, literature, athletics, and sometimes science, be so knock-down drag em’ out stupid? Other than cheating.
Usually I make a disclaimer right about now, saying I’m confining my remarks to political Russia, and not to the Russian people. But saints alive on Christmas Eve, I’m saying flat-out that the whole wagon load of them are face-in-the-back-of-the-head stupid.
It’s what saves us from them.
The Russian Mediterranean Fleet — and I’m being generous there — just got tossed by those rebels in Syria, who were bankrolled and encouraged by Turkey, a NATO member state. So no more port and basing facilities for the Ruskies in the Med.
They can’t go back to their home port in the Black Sea because Turkey won’t let them, owing to the Montreaux Convention that doesn’t allow warships to pass the Dardanelles and Bosporus Straits when there is a war in the Black Sea, which there is, because the Russians started one in Ukraine. Just as well for the Russians, because the Ukrainians would likely sink these ships anyways, like they did with the former Black Sea Fleet, and Ukraine doesn’t even have a navy.
The Russians can’t sail their fleet to their northern bases in places like Murmansk and Archangel because Russian ships have notoriously poor range and would never make it without parts falling off or without stopping at ports along the way. The thing is there are no ports along the way that would have them, because they all belong to NATO-member countries. Imagine, like, Portugal seizing the Russian fleet in port? Oh my God, that would be a knee-slapper of an embarrassment for the Russians, and would truly make for an excellent Christmas.
It reminds me of the Russian-Japanese War in 1905. The Japanese sunk the Russian Far Eastern Fleet in a surprise attack. The Russians, of course, were furious, so they decided to send their European Fleet to teach the Japanese a lesson they wouldn’t soon forget.
So off they sailed, the Russians that is, and once at sea, immediately began to fall apart in a manner that is truly Russianesque. Ships breaking down, running out of fuel, catching on fire, colliding with one another, even open firing on one another in the fog. Absolute comedy.
Even more humiliating was that no other countries were exactly lining up to help them with any of this, which must have stung Russian pride. There’s a reason why they’re pissed and paranoid all the time. It’s because everybody hates them, and how did they ever manage that?
Anyways, the world stood back and watched as the Russians sailed around the tip of Africa — the British wouldn’t let them through the Suez Canal — and made their way into the Indian Ocean, and from there the South China Sea. They met the Japanese Fleet at the Tsushima Straits, where the Japanese put the whole tragedy to a quick and merciful end by sinking the whole lot of them and sending them to the bottom.
So here we are in 2024, and the Russians have a bit of a rag-tag fleet in the Mediterranean without a home to hang their hat in. Except in Libya, Benghazi to be precise, where the Russians might be welcomed, since they’ve had their manipulations at work in the Libyan Civil War. Trust the Russians to have their fingers in any shit-pool they can find. It’s often what makes it a shit-pool.
Benghazi has port facilities, but there’s no repair or resupply infrastructure. Pretty much a wooden dock to tie up to is about it. So the Russians would have to spend billions to make this place suitable, and the Russians are a little short on billions these days, owing to their other shoot-in-foot adventures around the globe blowing up in their faces, primarily Ukraine. So it really does look like this Russian fleet will sit there in Libyan waters, and rust away while nobody else cares. And those who do take notice laugh.
You know, guys like me.
They should just set the whole thing on fire and be done with it.
Blame the whole thing on careless smoking.
If they were to ever get stupid with NATO, these ships would be gone in minutes.
So there’s your lump of coal, Russia, on this Christmas Eve.
Not even Santa likes you.
NEWSMAGRENFREW 