JOHN EXPLAINS STRONG MAYOR POWERS

To me, John has the appearance of being a very nice man, one with an impressive resume and one who happens to be an “expert” on Strong Mayor Powers.

John appeared via video link at the last meeting of Renfrew Clown Council, where he was tasked with walking everyone through the democratic abomination of small mayor powers as handed over to any municipality with a McDonalds and a set of street lights.  So Renfrew gets included, because we have those traffic lights, and even a Wendy’s, so game on.

One minor, yet annoying thing about John, though, is that neither God nor his parents apparently gave him a last name, which I’m absolutely cool with in theory, it’s just that I thought that practice was limited to Brazilian soccer stars and Indonesian dictators.

But I don’t make the rules.  Small town strong mayors do.  If a guy doesn’t want a last name, then he doesn’t have to have one.  Unless a strong mayor comes along and makes him.

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A KINDER, GENTLER PIERRE?

After sorting through the “carnage” of the last federal election results, Conservatives have been busy trying to figure out what exactly the hell happened.

The party won more seats, grabbed a bigger share of the popular vote, and made in-roads into areas and ridings where Tories once dared not walk.

Oh, and their leader lost his seat.  Badly.  No recounts needed in Carleton.  The boss got bossed right out of town.

Not long ago, snagging over 40% in public opinion surveys and the popular vote would signal a Conservative majority government, something everyone, including myself, was predicting not long ago.  And not just a simple majority, but a massive one.  Yet even with all the gains the party posted, the Liberals got more of all of the above, in seats, vote share, and their leader actually winning his own riding, interestingly the riding next door to the Tory leader’s.

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FLORIDA AND THE FLYING ELBOW

The term “Elbow’s-Up” was made more popular by Canadian comedian Mike Myers as a response to the buffoonery being put forward by the American president, who more and more seems to be an exact representation of the American people at large.

But the Florida Panthers have made it their personal calling card, as they elbow their way through opponents without much in the way of intervention by the Department of Player Safety, also known as Look The Other Way Committee.

How many concussions will need to be meted out by the Panthers before the pointy-heads up at league headquarters make the appropriate connection?

I’m not a Leafs fan, I’m a hockey fan, and if the league and officials continue to do nothing about this kind of thing, from Florida in particular, then the only way to handle this business is to build your own team with flying elbows, and maybe go back in time to the 1970’s.

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TIME TO CHANGE HOW WE VOTE?

Every Canadian voter is familiar with the electoral system called “First Past the Post.”

They know it because they know how it works or they know it because they can see the results of it.  Both of those positions may likely involve maintaining that practice, since it happens to be all Canadians have ever known.  And they’d rather keep the familiarity of a failed system than attempt to do anything about it through change or modification.

First-past-the-post refers to the idea that, in an election, the person getting the most votes wins.  Pretty straight-forward, easy to understand, something accepted for as long as Adam and that freaking snake in the garden.

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SOBRIETY

Sobriety is not something you ever take for granted,  

I know this because I’m sober, for now anyways, and I hate the influence that alcohol has had on my life.  And the pull it maintains upon me today.

Any good time, almost every good time that I’ve had in my life, is associated with drinking.  Beer was my glue, my response to everything, the constant, the thing that tied everything else together.  

When I drank, I wasn’t a dirty drunk, a falling down drunk, a crash into the Christmas tree kind of drunk.  I never drank and then operated a motor vehicle.  I didn’t fight or slur my words.

I was happy.  I was content.  I was funny.  I was smart and articulate.  I could even work while I was drinking, pounding out policy papers, directing communications for serious enterprises, and playing prominent roles in election campaigns.  I taught for over thirty years.  My students over that span will attest to my commitment to them.

And I drank through all of it.  Maybe not every day, maybe not all day, but often enough.  And every time I “quit,” which is the word often employed when we actually mean “stopped,” I came back to it stronger than ever.  The cans got bigger and there were more of them.

The way it goes I guess.

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CANADA’S MILITARY PROCUREMENT

What a beating Canada’s military capacity seems to be taking.  And it’s a beating coming at us from our erstwhile friends allies, nations with short memories who ought to know better.

These are important considerations for us to keep in mind as we spend our way to the 2% of GDP threshold we committed to as part of our membership in NATO, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

Some European countries question our reliability as an ally if we can’t seem to reach that 2% threshold, which is bonkers.  Canada has a much higher GDP — Gross Domestic Product — than all but three of our European NATO allies, those nations being Germany, France, and the United Kingdom.  The first we defeated in battle (twice), the second we fought to restore their territorial integrity (twice) and the the third we came to the rescue of (twice).

My point is the higher the GDP, the more money on defence spending that 2% represents.  Which means that, despite spending less than that percentage, Canada spends more in real dollars than 26 of our European allies.

So stuff it.

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CLERK ERRETT MADE DIRECTOR

Mayor Tom Sidney and Clerk Carolynn Errett are head table pals.

That much is evident just by watching Renfrew Town Council meetings in person, as the two are in constant and consistent sidebar discussions, which I guess is completely natural and to be expected when you have a mayor who seems not to know what he’s doing and a clerk sitting as the procedural expert.

These kinds of synergies are essential in professional environments, and there’s no reason why a small-town council ought to be an exception to that.  The mayor is still in his on-the-job training stint, over two years after his landslide election win back in 2022, when he prevailed over all his rivals in what can only be called a political magic carpet ride of euphoria not seen in these parts, well, ever.  And no doubt ever again.  Sidneymania has appeared to reach it’s end-of-use date.

With his clear mandate of 873 votes, maybe a dozen or so over his nearest competitor, Mayor Tom sits astride an empire of influence and power, especially now since our premier fell and hit his head on the barbecue and granted Strong Mayor powers to the chieftains of small municipalities across the province, including those currently swirling down the drain.

Like Renfrew.  And like Mayor Tom himself.

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NEPOTISM AT TOWN HALL?

Nepotism is generally regarded as the practice of hiring or favouring relatives over others.  It’s using personal influence, even power within an organization, to give a friend or family member a leg-up when it comes to an opportunity.

It happens everywhere.  It happens here.  And no matter what attempts are made, or lip-service offered, it’s something that’s awfully difficult to get rid of.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t try, or do our best to ensure it doesn’t become SOP, or standing operating procedure.

The staff of the Town of Renfrew is riddled with nepotism.  I’m sorry, but there it is, and there’s no point in running away from that fact.

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FROM A 300 TO A MACAN

I currently drive a Chrysler 300S and have for several years.  I have absolutely zero complaints about my ride other then the fact that, with rear-wheel drive, it’s not the robust champion I’d wish it to be when operating in slush and snow, even with snow tires.  But aside from that, there are not many places where you can get this level of sport and luxury without jumping into the big German sedans or Italian racehorses.  

Plus, the 12-speaker Beats By Dr. Dre stereo system is an attention getter, perhaps wasted on a man in his sixties, but something I nevertheless make every effort to take advantage of, sixties be-damned.

But nothing can last forever, and I know that.  As a gas model, it’s on a bit of a downward slide into oblivion, with no plans to re-boot it as an electric model.  In fact, there are no more Chrysler 300s produced at all anymore, meaning I have a bit of a collector’s item.  The only problem is that I don’t have the money, the space, the resources, nor talent to baby this thing into the future so I can motor around in it while enjoying my golden years, a situation light on gold and heavy on years.

As they say, nothing lasts forever, and in my hands, it probably lasts a lot less.

If everything goes right in my life, if I continue to exercise, eat the right foods, and look both ways before crossing the street, there will be a half-decent chance that I live long enough to need a new car.

And a new car looks more and more like it’ll be electric, because that’s the way she goes, or the way she’s going, and I honestly have no problem with that.

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THE LOSERS AMONG US

What makes a loser a loser?

That was a question put to me this past week, and it’s a fair question.  I guess I must have referred to someone as a loser, and my companion wanted to know how one would qualify to have that word directed at them, not to their face mind you, but cowardly just thrown in their general direction.

Perhaps she was just challenging me on my poor behaviour, but as the weirdo that I am, I dug into the whole thing a little more than maybe most people might, because I can be like that and maybe just wanted to know if I was, in fact, a loser myself.

There are different degrees of losers, just like anything else.

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