FROM A 300 TO A MACAN

I currently drive a Chrysler 300S and have for several years. I have absolutely zero complaints about my ride other then the fact that, with rear-wheel drive, it’s not the robust champion I’d wish it to be when operating in slush and snow, even with snow tires. But aside from that, there are not many places where you can get this level of sport and luxury without jumping into the big German sedans or Italian racehorses.

Plus, the 12-speaker Beats By Dr. Dre stereo system is an attention getter, perhaps wasted on a man in his sixties, but something I nevertheless make every effort to take advantage of, sixties be-damned.

But nothing can last forever, and I know that. As a gas model, it’s on a bit of a downward slide into oblivion, with no plans to re-boot it as an electric model. In fact, there are no more Chrysler 300s produced at all anymore, meaning I have a bit of a collector’s item. The only problem is that I don’t have the money, the space, the resources, nor talent to baby this thing into the future so I can motor around in it while enjoying my golden years, a situation light on gold and heavy on years.

As they say, nothing lasts forever, and in my hands, it probably lasts a lot less.

If everything goes right in my life, if I continue to exercise, eat the right foods, and look both ways before crossing the street, there will be a half-decent chance that I live long enough to need a new car.

And a new car looks more and more like it’ll be electric, because that’s the way she goes, or the way she’s going, and I honestly have no problem with that.

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May 10, 2025

EV RANGE LIMITATION

There’s no doubt that there’s a seismic shift towards the purchase and operation of electric vehicles — EVs — in the North American market, and that includes us right here in Canada.

Where once you would see none, or very few, now the sightings of EVs, predominantly Teslas, are far more commonplace. And with government subsidies and climate-specific legislation, that will become more of a fact moving forward.

Unless you plan on buying a Tesla in the recent climate of economic warfare foisted upon us by out erstwhile friends and neighbours to the south. That’s something that might be politically and, and now economically, difficult. Especially since all political parties in this country are bound and determined that, if government incentives are to ever be reinstated, that Tesla would not be covered in the program.

But never mind Tesla, let’s look at electronic vehicles generally.

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April 26, 2025

LOVING YOUR CYBERTRUCK WHEN NOBODY ELSE DOES

That Tesla Cybertruck is truly something to behold.

It appears that more and more of them are out and about in the wild, so sightings of this futuristic beast are becoming more commonplace. In fact, there’s even a couple in town.

I have to confess I have no idea what it must be like to own and operate one of these vehicles, with their supposed bullet-proof glass, a feature that I’m sure Elon Musk has included in all his personal vehicles, or at least the ones he shuttles around in. I can’t say whether the vehicle could stop an RPG — Rocket-Propelled Grenade — but I did see Musk himself shatter the window with a rock in an attempt to prove that you can’t shatter the window with a rock.

And honestly, when it comes to rocks, why waste them on the truck when you could be flinging them at Elon himself, easily the most loathed man in the world, which is a hell of a statement when you consider some of the people who walk this planet at the same time that he does. So why smash on the monster when you can get your licks in on Dr. Frankenstein instead?

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April 22, 2025

DID TESLA “GAME” THE FEDERAL REBATE SYSTEM?

Elon Musk is a lot of things, and almost every one of them is not a positive, at least in my mind. Must I now consider that he might be a crook on top of everything else?

I’m not even entirely sure if the guy is actually human or some lab stunt that got away from the boys and girls who toil down in the Black Ops department. That’s a gate we want to fix, real fast.

Comedian Mike Myers captures it best when he does his Musk impersonation on Saturday Night Live. Like a lot of things with Myers, he sort of over-does it, and he may have as well with his Musk schtick, but there’s one part that he seems to nail bang-on.

The part where, in mid-impersonation, he suddenly stops, makes some unnatural body movements, and facial expressions, then says “glitch” followed by “buffering,” as if the insufferable little puke was some sort of Cyborg operating on Dollar Store AA batteries that just ran out.

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March 20, 2025

X MARKS THE SPOT

Doesn’t it just figure that, when I go to expand into social media platforms, I end up on Elon Musk’s.

Life does have its odd way of expressing its version of humour, given how I feel about the man and how I take just about any opportunity to ridicule him. Yet here I am again, humbled by the dude who looks like a B-List villain from the old Batman series I once watched on television when I was a kid.

Facebook wouldn’t have me. Instagram neither. Seems I’m a slice of Canadian media to them, and they don’t like me because they’re still having their temper tantrum over the government making them pay for stolen Canadian journalism. You should have seen the notifications I got from them, telling me my accounts were suspended because I had violated their rules of service by, well, breathing. I was actually frightened for a minute, momentarily considering the implications of Facebook cops in dark vehicles outside my home. I got banned from Instagram before I was even on Instagram, it was that bad.

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December 22, 2024